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It’s the biggest day of your life, and you’re the star of the show. But what’s the point of a show without a sold-out audience? All of the countless hours and money spent on a single day can cause a bride to feel pressured to host a wedding of royal proportions. However, a gathering of several hundred of your so-called “closest family and friends” isn’t exactly intimate. And are you really that close to your grandmother’s bridge club or your brother’s ex-fraternity brothers? A balanced guest list ensures that you won’t spend the happiest day of your life with a room full of strangers. Here are some tips for creating your wedding guest list so that you will have the perfect crowd to witness your shining moment. 

Bigger is not always better

You want your wedding to be an enjoyable occasion for all of your guests. However, too many guests can cause your day to run less smoothly than you planned. If you are serving a buffet-style dinner, long lines could lead to hungry guests waiting an eternity to get their meal. Those first in line may have already finished eating an hour or more before some have even filled their plates. Half of your guests are bored, the other half are starving. Dinner could take up precious time, which delays all of the events of your reception. This may leave you feeling rushed to fit in all the traditions that are important to you.

If you find yourself cutting too many corners to make your budget work, trimming your wedding guest list is the easiest way to lower costs. Set aside a specific percentage of your budget for catering and beverage service and make your guest count work within that target. Don’t change your budget to fit an ever-growing guest list.

Trimming the fat

So how do you narrow down your wedding guest list without offending anyone? One of the easiest ways is to limit guest’s “plus ones.” Guests shouldn’t mind arriving solo.  Your wedding is an excellent way for your single girlfriends to meet your fiancé’s single college buddies. Eliminating the “plus one” from their invitation will also take away your guest’s pressure to find a date.  Let’s face it, if your friend hasn’t taken the time to introduce you to their latest significant other, then they don’t need to bring them to your wedding.

Another option is to host an adults-only reception, which is especially appropriate for an evening affair. Indicate that the reception excludes children by stating, "Adults Only Reception" or "Adult Reception" printed with the reception location and time on your invitations. You may still want to include the children in your family or wedding party, but realize that some individuals may feel insulted that there are different rules for their children than others.

If you need to trim the list further, decide who has had more of an impact on your life and has supported you the most throughout your relationship. One rule of thumb, if they aren’t family, and you haven’t talked to them in more than a year, then you probably won’t miss them at your wedding.

Balancing the in-laws

If you are having issues with your fiancé’s massive family taking over the guest list or vise-versa, then it’s best to come to a compromise. To avoid an argument, be sure to address the situation delicately since family can be a tender subject. The easiest way to go about this is to jointly decide on the total number of wedding guests to invite to your event, then split it down the middle. If you find that you can’t fill all the spots, then allow your fiancé to take the extras. You can also divide your guests in to two groups, the “A list” and the “B list.” The “A list” will receive the first round of invites, followed by the "B list" based on the number of regrets you receive from the first round. Just make sure that none of your “B-listers” find out they are on the “B-list.”

Organization is a must

Create a spreadsheet to keep track of all of your guest’s addresses, RSVPs, and gift purchases. You will need to have an accurate headcount for the catering staff, favors, and a seating chart. Losing track of how many guests there will be in attendance can cause issues, such as a shortage of food and drinks, not enough seating, and a major headache. Also, if you overestimate the number of guests, then you may be wasting money on too many place settings, centerpieces, and additional service staff.

With these tips, you will create the perfect wedding guest list to ensure your big day plays out exactly as you have always imagined, with you as the star attraction.