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Amid the planning, cake testing and dress fittings, you do not want to have to worry about problems that may arise with your bridesmaids. These girls (or maybe even a guy friend) should offer encouragement and support during this stressful time. Unfortunately, things do not always go as planned and problems can and do happen with your bridesmaids. Keep a few things in mind to help ward off any problems that arise.

Bridesmaids are friends and not “maids”
Do not be a bridezilla. Remember that you asked these people to be bridesmaids because of the friendship you have with them. You want to make sure that your relationship with them is as good as it was before the wedding as after. While your bridesmaids are there to help you along the way, do not expect them to be at your beck and call. Openly communicate to them what you need help with, and ask them what kind of time commitment they can make. This will let you know up front how much help to expect from them. Give each bridesmaid a list of times she will definitely need to be present, such as for going dress shopping or for fittings. Be prepared to have a couple of dates or times available for each of these occasions, especially if you have a large bridal party. It is not easy to get everyone to the same place on the same date and time.

Attire is only worn once
Dresses can cause an uproar for a variety of reasons. One person may not like the color, another hates the style and yet another may not be able to afford the dress you’ve picked out. Each of these scenarios has an easy fix.

Color: It is almost an unwritten rule that the bridesmaids’ dresses will be one of the colors from your wedding color scheme. If a bridesmaid does make a fuss about how the color looks absolutely terrible on her, you might try a simple black dress with a sash or flowers that match your color scheme. Another compromise would be to choose the color of the dress but let each bridesmaid decide on the style they like best. Ultimately, the color is your decision and should be what you have envisioned for your wedding, but try to be as understanding as you can. If there is still a problem explain why you chose the color and be firm in the fact that you want all the bridesmaids in that color. Your friends will understand your vision.

Style: One dress is not going to look the same on each person’s figure. This might be a good time to compromise with your bridesmaids. If each one can find a dress they like in the color(s) you have chosen then different styles may satisfy everyone’s need. Colors and fabrics from the same manufacturer will help make the dresses coordinate no matter the style.

Expense: This dress is only going to be worn once and for a bridesmaid it will not hold as special of a meaning as your wedding dress. Your budget may be much higher than your bridesmaids’, so if you expect them to pay for their own attire then do not get too outrageous with the price. You may also work into your wedding budget paying for half of each bridesmaid’s dress if the one you choose is rather pricey. If you do not know your bridesmaids’ budget then ask each of them separately so you know what kind of price range you should stay within.

Any problems are best dealt with quickly and calmly. Make sure bridesmaids feel they can openly communicate their concerns to you and vice versa. The bottom line is if you asked someone to be a bridesmaid and she agreed, then she should already have an idea of what is in store.

Unfortunately, emotions can run high while planning a wedding and if a bridesmaid refuses to compromise or is not supporting you like a real friend should then you may need to consider asking her to step down. Privately speak with her about how she is adding stress to your life instead of helping you enjoy this joyous time. Explain how you want her to be a part of your special day, but if a compromise cannot be easily reached you need to ask that she no longer participate in the wedding. A true friend will make the effort to see where you are coming from and hopefully a total falling out can be avoided.