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Sending invitations to your Grandma in Denver or Uncle Arnold in St. Louis are probably easy decisions when creating a guest list. Things get a bit trickier when deciding how far down the long line of family you will go before cutting the list short. Perhaps the most difficult decision is whether to include your ex on that list. Before you quickly jump to a conclusion, you may want to consider a few things.

Inviting your ex
There are only a couple of scenarios where the answer to inviting your ex is a resounding yes:

• The breakup was amicable and you have remained friends since that time
• You and your partner see or purposely meet up with your ex to hang out

In either of these cases you have maintained a platonic relationship with your ex and he will be a part of your life whether you get married or not. It would be the same as inviting your girlfriends or a college roommate you have kept in touch with all these years.

Not inviting your ex
The list of reasons not to invite your ex is a bit longer and more complicated:

• Your breakup was terrible and it took you months to get over this guy
• Your partner asks you not to invite him
• You only want him to be there so you can show him how well you are doing
• The breakup was amicable but you have not spoken or seen each other since
• Any children you share with your ex will be attending
• There are any lingering feelings that are not strictly platonic

If your partner is against your ex being there or you have not kept a friendship with this person then why would you want to bring the past into your wonderful future? You are just asking for trouble if any of the above situations is yours and you do decide to invite your ex. Keep in mind that your wedding day is meant to be a new beginning for you and your partner’s lives. Only those closest to you (and who are looking forward to this new chapter) should be celebrating with you. Plus, there is already enough stress and anxiety during the planning of the wedding. You do not want to add drama to your day by inviting someone that could cause a scene. If children are involved, seeing both their parents at the wedding could open a whole new can of worms. They probably do not associate their parents and a new partner together and all of you being present can get confusing. Avoid this by not inviting your children’s father.

Keep in mind
If your ex falls into the invite category then make sure to keep a few other things in mind:

• Make sure your ex is invited with a guest
• Introduce your ex as an old friend, not as your ex
• Seat him with people he will know
• Do not or limit the amount of dancing you do with your ex

As long as you do not make your ex stand out among the other guests, any awkward moments can be avoided. Then you and you partner can relax and have the wedding you have been dreaming of.